While the primary focus of this site will be centered on ADHD, I thought I would share the initial letter that I wrote to my 26-year-old self. It was for my wife on the occasion of our 10th wedding anniversary.

Dear 26, 

Are you ready for this? If somebody told you what you were getting into, would you do it?

That’s how life, especially love, goes. That’s why it’s called “falling into love”; you’re walking along one day, not looking, and you fall into a hole. You don’t plan it out; it’s not a college degree or a career path. All the movies you’ve seen where someone tries to plan out their love life inevitably ends with leaving the person they have planned on being with and randomly bumping into someone on the street, and it happens. They fall in love. 

For you, 26, that’s how you live, so it’s perfect. You don’t plan; you live on the wind. You know that this way of living won’t sustain itself, though. You will need someone on the ground, reeling in the kite you float on. Don’t worry; sometimes, the wind will blow so strong that her feet will get off the ground, too. You will get to show her what’s in the clouds and what the world looks like from where you float.

Believe it or not, 26, you are going to meet this girl, and in time, she’s going to show you a way to plan where the wind will take you. But you will still have the freedom of not knowing how the wind will take you. You don’t know it now, but that’s just as good.

26, it’s not going to be easy. She doesn’t like the unpredictability of the wind. You will have to show her that the unpredictability is what gives your life its feeling. At first, you will struggle to be tethered; it’s a sense of permanence that you fear. You fear that people will see you as being less free. You’ve developed a false belief that people find it admirable that you are able to pack your life in your truck, to move as freely as you want, but, hey, you’re 26, and I’m 38 (almost 39) and in time you will realize that people will view this as lost, not free. In time, you will understand. 

26. You will come to realize that your favorite book was right; happiness is only real when shared. 

Then you meet her. Her name is Jane, she’s gorgeous. She is tall. She has an incredible smile. You will realize in that moment that everything has been leading to Jane. 26, you’ve never been a smooth talker; you will fumble some line about her earrings, but she will smile, and you will know then that everything else in your life will be put on hold while you invest yourself in finding out where that smile comes from.

She will teach you patience. 26. You aren’t patient, and that is a detriment that you are aware of. You will go through a deep struggle dealing with change, but you will see the patience that Jane shows. She will show you so much patience, far more than you believe you deserve.

She will show determination. She has a drive you don’t understand, nor can you sometimes comprehend it. When you meet her, Jane is 23. She has graduated from college and has started her profession as a teacher. She doesn’t appear to question her profession of choice. This is something to which you cannot relate; you question the choice of what you’re doing professionally almost every day. That won’t change 26. In time, you will, however, understand the benefit of stability that Jane’s patience and determination show. She will admire, to a point, your carefree nature, but she believes you are capable of settling into a profession. You will find work you enjoy and that challenges you. It won’t satisfy you, but you will find purpose in the work.

She will believe in you. 26. There will be moments when you doubt your choice, feel unworthy, or feel like a fraud. There will be times when you need so much, and the shame of not being able to give your full support and comfort will be overwhelming. Yet, even in your dark moments, Jane will be there. She will support you, calm you, push you, and love you.

26, you are going to choose this life. This is the life you have been waiting for. This is the woman that you will know after two dates will be your wife. She will be the balance you don’t think you want right now but know you need. 

26, Today, you will celebrate 10 years of marriage to Jane. You are now 38, and your love for her is more profound and stronger than it has ever been. You have found the perfect person to share the world with. 

26, I’ve got to go…. I’m getting a call from 50, and I can’t wait to hear what he has to share with me.